Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Catching up...

It seems like forever since I've written just because of how crazy life has been lately. I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off, but nevertheless, life must go on and indeed it has. I have been so enamored and consumed with the noise that surrounds my life that I have missed the small joys of the past few months. School is so demanding and being diagnosed with kidney stones, kidney infection, and needing surgery I have really been stressed beyond belief. The wedding in itself was far more than I ever anticipated, in terms of stress, but I have had wonderful friends to come alongside me and lift my spirits.

God has really shown and proved his character and exceeded my expectations as a Father. His generosity and grace have blown my mind. I have cherished the little blessings here and there from Him, and I have grown to fall so in love with my Father. (Heavenly, not earthly) I was reading in my journal, trying to remember the first few days and moments of engagement, hoping to recall the goals that I had set for myself and Joshua, and I was utterly blown away by what God has accomplished in the past 5 months.
After Joshua and I got engaged the original date was to be next May, however, we strongly felt like God was pressing it upon our hearts to get married in December. I did not understand why I felt the urgency to get married so much earlier than we had anticipated, but I just knew that whatever it was couldn't wait. We were ready, but in a sense we weren't at the same time. We craved marriage and believed that God would work everything out. By everything, I'm implying changing the hearts of my grandparents. They weren't exactly thrilled when we moved our wedding date up 6 months, but we trusted in the power of the Lord to do great things, and indeed he has! Everything that we have wanted or desired God has faithfully orchestrated. After seeing the power of the Holy Spirit change my grandparents I have seen and whitnessed first hand the hunger that God has placed in my grandmother's life. I have been praying for her for sometime and I truly believe that God is doing something more in our lives than just marriage. Please don't think that I devalue marriage, but I know that God is working more than just a marriage out. He is bringing one of his Children back to life, and giving her a desire for Him. I am praying that through our faithfulness to Him, my grandmother would witness this, and be drawn to the Lord. Thursday night I went in to meet with the surgeon to schedule the surgery and afterward my grandmother and I went to eat at Ocharleys. If you can imagine this the imagery is absolutely beautiful and it is a memory that is forever burned into my heart. Anyone who knows me can testify that we do not get along, but God was sitting next to me speaking the the words through me, and I could tell that she was captivated and drawn to Christ. She wanted to know him, know His love. I know that she is continuing to wrestle with the Lord, which in my opinion is a great place be, but I am praying and trusting in the power of the Lord that through our union she would open her heart to the grace of the Lord and allow Him to redeem her. I invite you to pray for her and our wedding, because it will be a joyous celebration of not only me and Joshua, but of the Lord doing wonderful works in two people that have not ever experienced the sanctification of Jesus Christ.

My heart is stirred with emotions and I am ecstatic about our wedding. I have strongly pushed my grandparents to come to church the next, (I am confident that they will) but if they do it will the first time they have set foot in a church, for church and not for a wedding/funeral/other in over 30years. I had no idea that this would be the reason for the God laying the urgency of marriage on my heart, but I am so thrilled to know that he is working in their lives, and because of our obedience they might come to know the Lord and have a relationship with Him.

Isaiah 43:1
Fear Not for I have redeemed you;
I have summonded you by Name: You are mine.